By Roslyn Ann Duffy, Fundraising and Development Director, LWVWA Board

On a recent visit to the Lummi Nation lands in the Pacific Northwest, I saw a hand-lettered sign on a telephone post that read “Kindness Matters.” Simple words, but an important message.

Kindness builds us up, connects us, and makes us feel heard. And yet in too many places in our world, kindness is in short supply. We are rushed, stressed, and often feel overwhelmed. Many of us have been tumbled into hopelessness by the magnitude of crises that crash down daily, both personally and in our world.

Working for an organization such as the League is a wonderful antidote to hopelessness. To engage in acts that make a difference and improve lives is hopeful. That said, there can be a tendency, driven by the urgency of our tasks, to forget to apply kindness to one another.

I heard one person comment that she was astonished at how harshly League members sometimes treat one another. Is this true? Why would we be unkind to one another? What purpose is achieved by adding more harshness to our world? Whether in our work within the League or in society in general, don’t we owe each other encouragement, respect, and appreciation?

As we engage with newly formed boards, work on committees, or build projects together, it is essential that we prioritize kindness—because kindness does matter.

When a person volunteers and puts their heart and time into a task, the first response they need is encouragement. Of course, no one wakes up looking for ways to be unkind. We are in the League because we want to make the world a better place. Yes, there will be questions and concerns, and plans will emerge as less than perfect. But the important questions to ask ourselves before we find flaws or troubleshoot details are these:

• Is what I am about to say encouraging?
• What will the other person hear?
• Will kindness be communicated?

The key to the difference between kind and unkind is simple. It can be summed up like this: “The meaning of the message is the response you get.” This is an important distinction. Saying, “I was only trying to be helpful,” expresses intent. A response of silence or lessened participation demonstrates that the message heard was very different, no matter the intention.

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” – Amelia Earhart

Let’s be sure we are growing trees, not chopping them down.

Do you think a project is not well enough thought through? That is an honest opinion and needs to be conveyed. But how to do that? Gleefully slash away, finding fault that this idea is not yet perfect enough? Or identifying what is working and offering help to make it better?

Do you feel this person’s work encroaches on your territory? Why? How could this become an alliance, something many hands will make easier and more effective?

Do you worry that this isn’t the “way things are done” or that there are League procedures that need to be followed? Okay, but first begin with appreciating what has been done. Then what else needs to be done or done differently? What resources can ensure a successful way forward?

We all make mistakes. Their value is what and if we learn from them. The other side of kindness is a willingness to apologize. If what we have said or done has caused a noticeable chill in the atmosphere, take a deep breath. Be kind to yourself by accepting the lesson this mistake brought with it and be kind to the other person by saying you are sorry.

“Don’t be the reason someone feels insecure. Be the reason someone feels seen, heard, and supported.” – Cleo Wade

It is never a waste of time to be kind. There is so much work and often too few workers. Each of us is a precious asset and communicating that needs to be our foremost task. I like the Positive Discipline parenting motto: “People do better when they feel better.” It makes a good maxim to remember as we work with one another, in the League—or anywhere elsewhere.

Want to be kind today? Great! Because kindness matters.